Character Crush

Take a minute and think about different television and movie characters you have a crush on. Now imagine you met someone who looks like that person. You’d be all over him/her, wouldn’t you?

I don’t blame you because I recently did the same thing and it was NOT a good idea. I met a guy on one of those online dating apps who looked really similar to Jake (Puck’s younger brother) on Glee. I don’t care if Jake is kind of douchey and ended up cheating on Marley. As soon as he sang “Let Me Love You” to her, I was on cloud nine and immediately in love.

My “Jake” was arrogant and kind of douchey just like the character, but I was hooked. And against my better judgment and all the red flags (such as not wanting a girlfriend anytime in the foreseeable future and constantly flaking last minute on me), I still did everything I could in hopes of him liking me and one day wanting me to be his girlfriend. And allllll because of stupid Jake from Glee serenading Marley with that song and making me swoon.

Admittedly, I do enjoy a challenge so that probably had a little bit to do with it. But there does come a point after a week or two where I can’t play games anymore. I let our little charade go on for nearly two months. TWO MONTHS. It’s unbelievable to me looking back because I never continue to give people chances if I know it’s not going anywhere.

If he hadn’t reminded me of my character crush, it would have ended the first time he flaked on me. But I, like many other girls, came up with a fantasy in my head that was so detached from reality. And instead of finding my happily ever after, I ended up spending a night crying into a bowl of ice cream broken hearted and angry at myself for letting it go on for so long.

So, my advice to all of you is to never ever try to date someone who reminds you of a character you have a crush on. Even if they are a nice person, you’re likely to create a fantasy in your head that the other person can never live up to and you’ll end up disappointed in the end.

Our journey to find love can’t be spent with our heads in the clouds dreaming up impossible fantasies and imagining situations to be something they are not. Stay grounded and realistic – but hopeful and optimistic – and you’ll eventually find a real life Prince Charming.

xo AJB